Wednesday, March 12, 2008
How To Win Friends and Influence People
The boys are working hard to learn how to get what they want. It's a skill all humans seem naturally to want to cultivate. Among children, tried and true tactics include whining, badgering, threatening (as in, "You are ruining my whole life, mommy!"), and the good, old-fashioned tantrum. If direct methods fail, there's another tack: sneaking. Evidently, it's not only for children. Just ask Elliot Spitzer about that.
Boo, in keeping with his mostly-sweet demeanor, is polishing another approach: kissing up. A couple of weeks ago, we were in the throes of our favorite family skirmish: trying to get the boys to pick up their mess. After my repeated efforts failed and the boys were sleeping like angels, I grabbed a trash bag, as I had warned, and took every last lego, train car, magnifying glass, block and dinosaur off their floor. In the morning, they didn't even notice.
After a couple of weeks, Boo had a flicker of memory.
"Mommy, what happened to all of my big farm animals? I can't find them."
"Remember when you and Max didn't clean up your room? And I told you I would take away whatever was still on the floor when you went to bed? Well, I did, and they're mine now."
"But, but, but...," he stammered. "I want them back!"
"You'll have to earn them."
"OH, YEAH?!" I readied myself for the coming threat.
"Then I'll PICK YOU A FLOWER!"
Good thing I was in the front seat so he couldn't see me smile.
"You're going to have to do a lot more work than that to earn your animals back."
"Hrrrmmph! THEN I'LL PICK YOU A WHOLE BUNCH OF FLOWERS AND BRING THEM TO YOU IN A VASE!"
Not exactly what I had in mind, but a charming offer nevertheless.
Boo, in keeping with his mostly-sweet demeanor, is polishing another approach: kissing up. A couple of weeks ago, we were in the throes of our favorite family skirmish: trying to get the boys to pick up their mess. After my repeated efforts failed and the boys were sleeping like angels, I grabbed a trash bag, as I had warned, and took every last lego, train car, magnifying glass, block and dinosaur off their floor. In the morning, they didn't even notice.
After a couple of weeks, Boo had a flicker of memory.
"Mommy, what happened to all of my big farm animals? I can't find them."
"Remember when you and Max didn't clean up your room? And I told you I would take away whatever was still on the floor when you went to bed? Well, I did, and they're mine now."
"But, but, but...," he stammered. "I want them back!"
"You'll have to earn them."
"OH, YEAH?!" I readied myself for the coming threat.
"Then I'll PICK YOU A FLOWER!"
Good thing I was in the front seat so he couldn't see me smile.
"You're going to have to do a lot more work than that to earn your animals back."
"Hrrrmmph! THEN I'LL PICK YOU A WHOLE BUNCH OF FLOWERS AND BRING THEM TO YOU IN A VASE!"
Not exactly what I had in mind, but a charming offer nevertheless.
1 Comments:
One of these days, a vase filled with hand-picked flowers and that charming disposition will get that boy somewhere. Good thing he's learning it won't get him everything he wants.
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