Monday, February 28, 2005
"P" is for more than Pig
When I got home from the grocery store today, I had a message from one of Max's teachers. As a general rule, this is an ominous thing. It seems that Max had been particularly aggressive at school and had rebuffed all of the teachers' efforts at redirecting him. That landed him in the principal's office for a cooling off period.
So I was not in a lenient frame of mind when Max got home. During the afternoon, there were a few episodes during which Max chose not to be a good listener, but everything came to a head when Max emerged from the bathtub. He ignored me when I called him to put on his diaper and pj's. I finally caught him, but he squirmed and wriggled and kicked until I turned loose. He was standing across the room, refusing to cooperate, when a liquid arc emanated from his crotch, generously spraying the rug. (Couldn't have been the hardwoods, could it?)
I was livid. Retrieving his bathtowel for the clean-up job, I pointed out to Max that he had just peed on the rug and that that was exactly why I had wanted to put his diaper on and that I was very, very angry. He began a 3-year old's version of the soft-shoe:
"Oh. I'm sorry, mommy. Do you want to play a game?"
"I can't right now, Max. I have to clean up your pee." I continued blotting vigorously.
"Do you want to play a game now, mommy?"
"I can't, Max. I'm still cleaning the rug."
"But you've already done that, mommy. And you did it so well. Great job! Now do you want to play a game?"
I went into the bathroom to wash my hands, and that's when I heard Max again: "It's time for the show!"
When I returned to Max's room, he was standing atop the train table, holding forth like the circus ringmaster: "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're going to do the Animal ABC's from Ant to Zebra! Here we go!"
And he proceeded to sing, animating his performance with hand gestures:
"Ant bear cat dog elephant frog giraffe
Horse iguana jaguar kangaroo lion mouse
Noblabla (nightingale) octopus pig
Questa (quetzel) rhinocerous snake
Turtle umbrella-bird vulture whale
X-ray fish yak and zebra.
Now I know my animal ABC's
Next time won't you sing with me?"
In the spirit of spotting more butterflies, I pulled up a seat and allowed myself to take pleasure in the show.
Last night Lee remarked, "Pound for pound, Max is the most precocious person I know." I'd like to second that.
So I was not in a lenient frame of mind when Max got home. During the afternoon, there were a few episodes during which Max chose not to be a good listener, but everything came to a head when Max emerged from the bathtub. He ignored me when I called him to put on his diaper and pj's. I finally caught him, but he squirmed and wriggled and kicked until I turned loose. He was standing across the room, refusing to cooperate, when a liquid arc emanated from his crotch, generously spraying the rug. (Couldn't have been the hardwoods, could it?)
I was livid. Retrieving his bathtowel for the clean-up job, I pointed out to Max that he had just peed on the rug and that that was exactly why I had wanted to put his diaper on and that I was very, very angry. He began a 3-year old's version of the soft-shoe:
"Oh. I'm sorry, mommy. Do you want to play a game?"
"I can't right now, Max. I have to clean up your pee." I continued blotting vigorously.
"Do you want to play a game now, mommy?"
"I can't, Max. I'm still cleaning the rug."
"But you've already done that, mommy. And you did it so well. Great job! Now do you want to play a game?"
I went into the bathroom to wash my hands, and that's when I heard Max again: "It's time for the show!"
When I returned to Max's room, he was standing atop the train table, holding forth like the circus ringmaster: "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're going to do the Animal ABC's from Ant to Zebra! Here we go!"
And he proceeded to sing, animating his performance with hand gestures:
"Ant bear cat dog elephant frog giraffe
Horse iguana jaguar kangaroo lion mouse
Noblabla (nightingale) octopus pig
Questa (quetzel) rhinocerous snake
Turtle umbrella-bird vulture whale
X-ray fish yak and zebra.
Now I know my animal ABC's
Next time won't you sing with me?"
In the spirit of spotting more butterflies, I pulled up a seat and allowed myself to take pleasure in the show.
Last night Lee remarked, "Pound for pound, Max is the most precocious person I know." I'd like to second that.
2 Comments:
Poor mommy, what a day you had! And you handled it so well. Great job!
Please pass along to Mr. Precocious that his backwards Aunt Kimberly would like to hear the animal ABC song in the "isn't that now you sing it in Texas?" version next time she sees him.
And I'm offering up extra prayers for little boy bladder control tonight.
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