Saturday, August 07, 2004
Anticipation
Max got a haircut yesterday. From Max's vantage point, Andre's is full of small pleasures. Spray bottles are really cool. The big powder puff that Leslie uses to dust small hairs off Max's neck tickles. Best of all, there's lots of chocolate.
Max had been in the chair for about 30 seconds when he asked for his first piece of chocolate. He polished off three Hershey's kisses in rapid succession and was lobbying for more. I gave him an ultimatum: one more piece. I told him that he could have it after his haircut was over, and that until then he could anticipate it. I asked Max if he knew what "anticipate" meant, and he said no. I told him that it meant to look forward to something, and that if he cooperated (to which he said, "That means working together") with Leslie, he could anticipate enjoying his piece of chocolate at the end of his haircut.
This seemed to make sense to Max. He asked if he could just hold the chocolate. When I allowed as much, he asked if I would unwrap it for him. I said yes, but I reminded him that this was his last piece. Now holding the bare chocolate in his hand, he opened his mouth very wide. I waited and watched, fearing that if the chocolate disappeared, we might be en route to a meltdown over another morsel.
Grasping the chocolate between his thumb and forefinger, he put the chocolate between his open jaws and froze. Several seconds elapsed. Then he pulled the chocolate back out, and burst out laughing. For the duration of his haircut, he repeatedly positioned the chocolate just over his tongue, tempting himself again and again and resisting each time. Max had discovered something about anticipation and was milking it for all it was worth.
When I relayed this story to Lee's mom this afternoon, she picked up on an aspect of this that I'd missed. A psychologist by training, Nancy pointed out that one of the best indicators of how well a child will do in life is his or her ability to delay gratification. So while I may not see self-control from Max as often as I'd like, there's hope for him yet.
When at last Max's hair was neatly trimmed and we were heading home, he popped the chocolate into his mouth. Mmmm...it appeared to be worth the wait.
Max had been in the chair for about 30 seconds when he asked for his first piece of chocolate. He polished off three Hershey's kisses in rapid succession and was lobbying for more. I gave him an ultimatum: one more piece. I told him that he could have it after his haircut was over, and that until then he could anticipate it. I asked Max if he knew what "anticipate" meant, and he said no. I told him that it meant to look forward to something, and that if he cooperated (to which he said, "That means working together") with Leslie, he could anticipate enjoying his piece of chocolate at the end of his haircut.
This seemed to make sense to Max. He asked if he could just hold the chocolate. When I allowed as much, he asked if I would unwrap it for him. I said yes, but I reminded him that this was his last piece. Now holding the bare chocolate in his hand, he opened his mouth very wide. I waited and watched, fearing that if the chocolate disappeared, we might be en route to a meltdown over another morsel.
Grasping the chocolate between his thumb and forefinger, he put the chocolate between his open jaws and froze. Several seconds elapsed. Then he pulled the chocolate back out, and burst out laughing. For the duration of his haircut, he repeatedly positioned the chocolate just over his tongue, tempting himself again and again and resisting each time. Max had discovered something about anticipation and was milking it for all it was worth.
When I relayed this story to Lee's mom this afternoon, she picked up on an aspect of this that I'd missed. A psychologist by training, Nancy pointed out that one of the best indicators of how well a child will do in life is his or her ability to delay gratification. So while I may not see self-control from Max as often as I'd like, there's hope for him yet.
When at last Max's hair was neatly trimmed and we were heading home, he popped the chocolate into his mouth. Mmmm...it appeared to be worth the wait.
1 Comments:
Given the photo of Max on this site, it's pretty clear that chocolate is a favorite treat.
I can't wait to see y'all! Three more days...
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